Yelling at your kids is a real-life problem that many of us, parents, won’t dare to admit to. And even as a spiritual person, empath, and mother to an intuitive toddler – we can admit that we’ve been here before. What we’ve learned, however, thanks to our spiritual awakening, was that yelling comes from an internal and much deeper issue. And as a result, it actually does more harm to our kids than help. Here’s why:
Yelling at your kids sets a poor example for dealing with problems
Yup, we went there. So whether you agree or not – we’re going to continue our reasoning. We believe that yelling at your kids sets an extremely poor example of how to deal with problems. Especially because, well, you know – they’re reliant on you to provide methods to cope.
Here is a list of reasons why yelling at your kids sets a poor example:
- Yelling does not “fix” your child’s problem/s
- It is a short-term solution that can create a larger, and harder effect to fix in the future
- A child should not need to be yelled at, in order for you to get your point across
- There are other ways to demonstrate proper behavior
- Yelling is a fear tactic and might cause child anxiety
- Empath and intuitive children can become easily traumatized
In this day and age, conscious parenting allows us to analyze our steps and recognize how to deal with our children’s problems, for their best interest. Briefly mentioned in our article about discipline for children – when we are conscious parents, we can guide our children by providing techniques to combat life’s many issues.
As an example, instead of yelling at your kids – try communicating with them instead. Calm yourself down, and set yourself aside for one moment, to then tackle whatever you’re experiencing with your child together.
An alternative to yelling at your kids can include:
- Repetition and setting routines
- Being consistent with your promises
- Transforming tantrums into a time of self-reflection
- Creating games to help your child understand emotions
- Singing songs and using the art of distraction
- Taking deep breaths and staying present
- Choosing to not allow anger, tiredness, or frustration control what you say
- Recognizing that your kids need your help (despite them being complete a-holes sometimes)
Yelling at kids risks creating childhood trauma
A research conducted by NIH-PA in 2010 found that – “Using corporal punishment, expressing disappointment, and yelling or scolding were each associated with more child aggression, while giving a time out, using corporal punishment, expressing disappointment, and shaming were associated with more child anxiety.” This completely makes sense, and totally resonates with the emotions I felt towards my parents as I reached adolescence.
Childhood trauma shapes a person entirely. And speaking from experience here, if it weren’t for my awakening, I would have never known that some of my issues as an adult came from my childhood. So although yelling can provide a quick fix when the mom anger hits, it can actually have a much greater effect on your kids in the long-term.
Yelling at your kids comes from a deeper issue
Mic-drop! That’s right, yelling at your kids comes from a deeper issue you have. Yelling as well as anger, frustration, or any other negative emotions expelled on your kids – work as a mask for internal issues that you haven’t properly dealt with.
Examples vary from feeling burnt out, being frustrated with your partner for a lack of help, feelings of self-worth, being too harsh on yourself as a parent, and so much more. An easy way you can begin to tackle this realization is through self-reflection and holistic healing. Journalling, writing, meditation, traditional therapy, or practicing shadow work is also helpful.
Find below a helpful video from Eckhart Tolle on How Do I Keep From Being Triggered:
Time to heal yourself
If you’ve come across this article, somehow, and in some way – this is a sign that you’re ready to begin healing yourself. Not only for you but for the benefit of your kids too. When yelling at your kids has become too much of a problem, here are some ways you can begin to heal yourself:
Invest in your self-care
The reason why we say to invest in your self-care is that the more often you take care of yourself (mind, body, spirit) – the easier and naturally it’ll come to properly care for your kids and stop the consistent yelling. Create a self-care routine that works best for you and your family dynamics, raise your vibes (water helps to raise your spiritual vibration,) practice positive affirmations, keep healthy, and show love for yourself – including the good and the ugly.
Show love to your kids
Everyone has a different version of what love is, but especially now that you’ve recognized an ongoing yelling issue with your kids – it can be time to crack up the love notch. Explain to your kids that you’re only human, with flaws. And you’re taking action to become a better you, which means a better parent too. Hug your kids, apologies to them when due, and embrace their all godly-essence by being present and not allowing anger to misjudge your perspective.
Let go of things that don’t serve you
Sometimes, negative thoughts, addictions, or other dense energy will hold us back from being the best that we can be. Things such as keeping internal hatred, manifesting negativity, indulging in drugs or alcohol, or anything similar to that nature will keep you stuck. Those things also produce extremely low energy – something that isn’t good when you’re trying to heal yourself. Let go of anything that doesn’t serve you and let it go with love.
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