Bullying is a commonality throughout society. It represents a whirlwind of things and can take shape in various forms. If you’re getting bullied, whether at work, school, or within your friend group- understanding “why” might be hard to comprehend. However, by looking at the many reasons why someone might be getting bullied, you can begin to find ways to overcome it.
Bullying is always an issue of the aggressor. Extreme insecurity, internal demons, envy, power, and lack of self-worth are the common reasons why a bully hurts others. They use their troubled emotions, and outwardly possess those feelings onto others. Overcoming these reasons are easy through techniques of positive affirmations, reminders, and wishing them healing.
It’s never easy coping with bullies, but it’s a great challenge and lesson for you in the moment to identify. If you’d like to learn more in-depth about the 5 reasons why you’re getting bullied (and how you can overcome it), continue reading below.
1. Your Bully is Extremely Insecure
One of the top 5 reasons why you’re getting bullied is due to an extreme insecurity problem from your bully. Most bullies are incredibly insecure, commonly fighting issues such as jealousy, lack of confidence, and low self-worth.
When a person is very insecure, their reality becomes blinded by their inner-mind. And negative thoughts appear daily. For your bully, this very well could be the case. So even if your bully seems to be outgoing, confident, and charming inwardly, they feel the complete opposite inside.
To overcome an extremely insecure bully:
- Remind yourself their words always come from a place of hurt;
- Their actions reflect how they feel about themselves;
- Never believe what they say about yourself or others;
- Show them pity (internally).
2. They’re Fighting Internal Demons (And Unleash it Onto You)
Another one of the top 5 reasons why you’re getting bullied could be that they’re fighting internal demons. Your bully has significant pain, anger, and hurt that they haven’t dealt with yet.
Although it’s unacceptable, the reality is that this is another common issue seen in bullies. They will possess their inner-hurt outwardly onto you because they lack the courage to overcome their problems.
When dealing with someone who’s fighting internal demons, they might bully you through verbal belittling, humiliation, or physical violence. But in addition, emotional manipulation is also likely.
To overcome a bully who is fighting internal demons:
- Avoid them as much as possible;
- Remind yourself that they’re acting from a place of pain;
- Feel sorry for them, and even pity them;
- Cleanse your energy after engaging with them.
3. They Envy You
Your bully could be bullying you because they deeply envy you. When your bully envies you, their desire to possess something that you have can disguise itself amongst subtle comments, rumors, and unknown hatred.
Envy comes from a place of the unknown; When your bully lacks self-worth or doesn’t believe they can obtain what you already have (physically, mentally, and emotionally) they take that pain out onto you.
People do hurtful and unhealthy things in the act of envy. They’re so lost within themselves, that they feel it’s only “fair” or “just” to bully you. Although this might sound mean, it gives them happiness knowing that you’re suffering, because they are suffering too. For this, you need to remember that you’re never the one to blame.
Find below a list of ways you can overcome a bully who envies you:
- Remind yourself that the problem is with them, and not about you;
- Never dim your light because of their jealousy;
- Avoid their toxic energy;
- Don’t take on board their negative thoughts;
- Internally bless them with sorrow and wish them healing.
4. They’re trying to “Fit In”
Unfortunately, you could be only being bullied because they’re attempting to “fit in.” This always happens throughout schools and the workplace. When viewed as a threat or easy-target, bullies will pick on you out of an attempt to fit in with the crowd around them.
Throughout high school, I’d deal with bullies that only partook in rumors and name-calling so they could fit in with the people they were hanging out with. I’ve also seen this happen within the work-field.
These types of bullies lack self-worth. They might also be afraid of rejection, fear of being different, or scared of loneliness. A bully that bullies you might, in reality, have no problem with you at all. Instead, they’re acting from a place of low self-esteem.
To overcome a bully who is trying to fit in:
- NEVER take what they say/do personally;
- Remember that they’re suffering inside, and are using you as a target;
- Remind yourself that you’re loved, powerful, and unique exactly how you are;
- Show them pity and sorrow;
- Avoid interaction as much as possible;
- Internally wish them healing.
5. Your Bully Seeks Power
If your bully is seeking power, they’re using you to make themselves feel more superior that gives them satisfaction. The desire of power might be so strong within your bully, that they’ll demonstrate forceful tactics to get the result they crave.
Usually, a bully who seeks power will possess negative or unhealthy motives. And as a result, you’re left with feelings of worthlessness, fear, anxiety, or sadness. All of this always comes from a place of lack, somewhere deep within.
Your bully could be the most successful person you know, but they feel such a significant lack in themselves that they’ll act in hurtful ways against you to gain such power.
To overcome a bully who seeks power:
- Avoid prolonged interaction;
- Don’t be afraid to say NO;
- Hit them with silence;
- Tell yourself positive affirmations;
- Remind yourself that only you truly know who you are.
Recommended Read: 7 Ways to Deal With Bullying (As a Parent)
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